Oh, Joe and I Miss You, Kamala

I wrote this letter months ago and never did anything with it, but with Kamala Harris withdrawing from the Presidential race, I find myself missing her as I reflect on our frontrunner. This letter was written in contast to one I wrote in 2015 when Joe Biden withdrew from that candidate pool, when in the context of Obama, I was a big Biden fan. I am not against Joe Biden getting the nomination, but I sure hope he wrestles with some of his shortcomings and surrounds himself with people who bring a different perspective to the issues at hand.

July, 2019

Dear Joe Biden,

I wrote you a letter nearly four years ago, and I never heard back, but that’s okay. You were busy being Vice President. Now I’m writing the amendment because I’ve learned a few things about you since then. That’s the thing, Joe. People learn and grow as needed. They take a front seat or a back seat or stand at the podium or sit in the audience depending on the context, and back in October 2015 I was writing to express my condolences for your loss and for our loss as a country that you would not be pursuing the candidacy for Democratic Presidential nominee.

Now I’m writing to tell you that at the moment, I would likely not vote for you in a primary. It’s not because I don’t want a DC insider; not because I think old white men are inherently bad (some of them are, but some are not, and you have always shown that you have potential). It’s because of what you have done with your potential and how you have missed out on the opportunities to change. You either have bad instincts or are getting bad advice. Based on some of your recent speeches, it looks like you are getting no advice. You had the chance to appeal to my generation and the next generation; my goodness, you were Obama’s right-hand-man and the subject of those Bromance memes that made us all teary eyed in the wake of Trump’s election. You had us. But you are losing us. And I’m here to tell you why, if you will listen. That’s all anyone has been asking of you. Listen, Joe. Because you might learn something new. We have a president right now who does not believe in the value of listening or learning, and regardless of age, gender or demographic, we want the next one to be a listener and a learner. Off the bat, you are falling short.

When I wrote my first letter to you in October 2015, the Anita Hill trial was a very distant memory and did not factor into my opinion of you. Hillary, Bernie and others were still in the race, and it would be many months before our democracy officially unraveled. I certainly never predicted then that the blocking of Merrick Garland would lead to what we have now — two new Supreme Court appointments who tip the scales of the court to conservative, anti-female, anti-gay, anti-progressive ideals. One of the two joins Clarence Thomas as a man whose appointment withstood credible allegations of sexual assault because of the white men who rallied in his favor and threatened others on his behalf. I was a child when Anita Hill came forward, and quite frankly, I did not recall clearly your role in her testimony until fall of 2018 when it became relevant. But you must remember your role, and you had nearly thirty years to apologize. Why are white men above apology? You sort of apologized to the public, on television shows, to some of your colleagues in Washington. But I didn’t need your apology. I would have much preferred to know that at some point in the past twenty-seven years, you picked up the phone and called Professor Hill and apologized to her. Women and people of color have to apologize for things all the time, often with their tail between their legs and an affect that shows genuine remorse, often for things they did not do or did not do intentionally. Why are you better than this? You behaved in a way that was disrespectful and had a negative impact on one person and perhaps our whole nation. A phone call would have gone a long way in demonstrating your humanity. You waited until your hat was in the ring in April 2019, and even then, it wasn’t an apology.

But I’m a bit concerned you don’t believe in an ability to change, and that’s the other issue I have right now. I see you trying to tell us what you did in Wilmington in the Civil Rights movement as if that’s what I’m voting for now. We all know you have a spotty record and have generally fallen on the middle line. You aren’t going to undo that. But you can move the line going forward. My generation believes in one’s ability to change. We believe in growth. If you are going to run by doubling down on your past decisions and demonstrate no growth, you are not the one for us. Something tells me the millennials feel even more committed to change. We don’t want a “can’t teach old dogs new tricks” candidate whose past tricks don’t hold up in the current context. We want a dog, regardless of age, who is inspired to learn new tricks. I am not going to take your word for granted when it comes to your past decisions. For example, I’m going to learn everything I can about bussing and draw my own conclusions as to its efficacy. I started by listening to this episode of the The Daily, and you should listen to it too. Then you can have an informed conversation with me, with Kamala, with the rest of the nation.

So stop telling us about the good things you’ve done in the past, and expecting that to win us over. Start listening to what we are looking for now. I suggest you listen to Ta-Nehisi Coates, in full, and his analysis of Trump and his case for reparations. Read his letter to his son in Between the World and Me. I don’t doubt you were devastated when Dr. King was killed, and I believe you fell on the right side of the riots in your city of Wilmington. What are you going to do now about Eric Garner? What are you going to do about Freddie Gray? My daughter and son want to know. They heard the I Can’t Breathe tape on the radio. They know a police officer killed a man because he may have sold a cigarette. They know the man was black. They know the cop got away with it, and other cops tried to cover it up. They are nine and ten years old. They cried and were scared, and it was my choice to let them know, to leave the radio on. Some parents don’t have the choice of when to shield their children from these realities. How are you going to restore their belief in justice and humanity?

This is a new age, there are new voices, and you are not listening. I do not believe you are a racist or a rapist — and we already have someone who fits both descriptions in the White House now. You are a far better human than him. You are likely a good person who has spent his career trying to appeal to a wide range, and in doing so, now lacks conviction. You are behind the times and inclined to look back instead of forward. You may be an advocate for race issues and women’s issues, but that’s not enough today. We don’t want a wishy-washy advocate. We want a listener, a learner, a person capable of change. We want an activist and an ally. And luckily, we have found some of those in the lineup of twenty. Kamala. Elizabeth. Mayor Pete. Right now, they have my vote. Because the times, they are a-changin’.

Warm regards,

Alison Cupp Relyea

Rye, NY